KISS ME!

HOLY SHIT MAN!!!

2006-07-13T16:57:35Z

WOW!!! okay...i kind of forgot abou tmy livejournal...BUT IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE CARES ANYWAY!!!! lol...i have to completely revamp it tho...kinda over the whole jeffree star thing. lawl...yeah i'm kinda hoping that some of my friends from myspace will post a little er soemthing on here so i can se them here too. um...so yeah...i hope to extend my skills of thml with livejournal. that's what i sort of got a livejournal for in the first place. html is hard but i mean, i was getting the hang of it until one day i just didn't get on anymore. not that anyone really cares...cuz i know for a fact that no one reads my posts lol....that kind of makes me sad...

DUDE! i wanna go o downtown disney sooo bad! lol...yeah different subject i know. lol. richi and i have been engaged 2 full years now...and it's been a fucking ride! he's so much fun to be with. he makes me so mad at him...and then he says something goofy and i can't help but laugh and get over it...lol and when we go out to the movies...omg..so much fucking fun...because...okay...we talk...a lot...in the movies...it's because we like to discuss wha's going on. richi's a riot tho. omg...not too long ago he got into a fight while at work...i was FUCKING PISSED!!! it wasn't his fault. i mean, he wasn't the one instigating the fight. but still..the guy just got a single hit on him...right under his left eye....URGGGGHHHHHH!!!! i was soooo fucking pissed they touched him. fucking dipshits drunk old men....

OKAY....so anyway...i'm back...fyi...lol...and i'm gonna post some more later...i'm itching for a funnel cake

Love and the feelings that come with it

2006-02-22T03:21:19Z

so, i've had a lot of time by myself lately (you know, with richi at work and everything like that), and i've had a lot to think about as far as my relationship with richard and my little girl.

When i sit here all day and i think of richard and how he treats me and the things he done for me in the past, it makes me want to cry. nothing in the world could take me away from him. and i've felt especially strong about that in the last 2 weeks. i tried really hard to make him feel special on Valentine's Day, and i think i succeeded. i put little messages in balloons and had him pop them to see the 10 reason's why i love him. i think about my life without him. when i try to think about that, it just doesn't come through. i get stuck in this limbo of the fact that there is NOTHING after him. no life. no love. no family. no nothing. it makes me sad and weepy. i'm not saying all this because i'm on my period, i'm not. it's just coming out because he and i have been through a lot lately and we've had to rely on each other for a lot of support. i hope that he sees that i'm here and that i've been here for a long time now. tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. how does it feel to be with someone and have a beautiful baby and a home and a life with them? FAN-fucking-TASTIC!! OMG! i can't get over that. he's everything that i ever could have asked for in a mate, in a friend, in a person. i love him so much.

There is this little girl, that every day, cries. that every day, laughs. that every day, smiles. that little girl is Lilli Grace. she is the light of this household. she is the little gift that God has placed on this earth to make her mommy and daddy happy. there is a lot that has happened recently that has made both richi and i bond with her on a different level. there are things that she does that i never noticed before. there are ways that she looks at us that i never noticed before. i don't know what it is, but she just looks SO grown up. not to mention that she has the little attitude of a 13 year old girl. if she doesn't want something or if you catch her at a bad time, she gives you this look like "don't mess with me right now. i don't know why but i'm in a pissy mood". and i just say okay and let her play by herself. and then i notice that she's put herself to sleep and i don't feel so bad anymore. richi's noticed too. she just looks different. we've bonded so tightly with her now and we notice how she looks at us with this abundant amount of love and caring. i love her so much.

there are 2 people that are working hand-in-hand to make my life beautiful, Richi and Lilli. and these 2 wonderful people couldn't do it any better.i love them and appreciate them so much that it's overwhelming at times. it's hard to put exactly what i feel down because, i just don't know the words. it's weird. i'm way more articulate when i'm pissed. lol. i have a better sense of words when i'm angry. but when i feel this much love coming from some one and when i have this much love coming out of me, it's hard. i think a lot of people can appreciate that.

Thank you richi and lilli for loving me so much and for being my guiding light. i thank God everyday that he gave you 2 souls to me.

My MYSPACE!

2006-02-21T23:38:41Z

http://www.myspace.com/gerbilnose

i'm at myspace now. not that anyone cares...lol

I've just had a Jeffree Star moment!

2006-02-21T19:24:21Z

♥1♥

♥2♥

♥3♥

♥4♥

♥5♥

♥6♥

♥7♥

♥8♥

♥

New Fucking Layout! ♥jeffree star♥

2006-02-21T18:00:08Z

yesssssssssssssssss

it's the one
it's the only
♥Jeffree Star♥

love him?
hate him?
shut the hell up...
you WANT to BE him!

institutionaliz @ 2006-02-03T19:30:00

2006-02-04T03:31:17Z

cool, no, baby, richi, sex, hotness, bed, wrapper, mess

this has been brought to you by the letter P

WISH ME LUCK!!

2006-02-02T03:43:24Z

okay so this is my newest project. i need to really lose weight. i went anchor blue to see if i could get a few clothing items for myself to wear (fucking-a, DUH!!) and i couldn't fit into anything that i picked out. did i get the right sizes? yes, i am well aware of what sizes i wear and i choose my clothes accordingly. did i look for clothes in a bigger sizes? yes, i did and they don't have anything after a certain size. so i went outside of the store and sat. depressed and feeling a little foolish, richi came to me and asked if i was pregnant. "fuck no!" was my EXACT answer. i told him that i would know if i was pregnant. and i would! i'll never forget that feeling. and we just sat there. he asked me if i knew something that he didn't. i told him no and that i just feel stupid and depressed because i can't fit into any of my clothes anymore. what was i supposed to do? i've never been a size 15 and don't plan on being there at all ever in my life. he asked me if trimspa would work and how much it was, i told him that i didn't know. but then i remembered that there was a GNC right behind from where we were sitting so i told him let's go in there. so we went in there and were looking at some stuff. then we were approached by a larger woman asking if we needed help. after a short mental argument with myself, i said yes and asked her what would be the best for me. she pointed me to a product called Slim Quick. it's made especially for a women's body (a lot of extra stuff is in it for the hormones and shit that us women have to carry. yeah, being a woman is no walk in the park.) so we bought that and a vitamin supplement to help with whatever vitamin's i wasn't going to get with taking the pills. i start tomorrow. so wish me luck. the women that worked there were really nice and told me that they've only heard the best results. one girl that worked there said she took it 2 weeks before prom and lost 25 lbs. WOW! yeah, that sold me. she said that she hasn't gained it back since sooooooo...i'm really excited about it. i just have to take it religously or else it's going to be pointless. so, wish me luck guys. thanks so much!

OMG!!! i almost forgot...look this guy up. he's got a myspace account. he's really weird but has the most awesome and hilarious songs.

♥ JEFFREE STAR ♥ http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=71676

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2006-01-20T19:36:19Z

as you can see my journal is under a little bit of construction so bare with me.

HOY FRIGGIN CRAP!!

2006-01-17T17:56:53Z

okay! i understand that i haven't updated in a very loooooooooong time. but still! it's not like anyone missed me or anything like that. BLAH! anyway, here's some new pic of me and the baby.

me...trying to look my best

a little dark but i'm still there

goregous smile

she can pull her toes now

like mother like daughter

baby lilli and uncle christian

institutionaliz @ 2005-11-14T09:22:00

2005-11-14T17:24:21Z

i'm soooo retarded. i found a free layouts community and now i can't decided which layout i like best. so if it looks a little scattered when you see a green layouts in the morning and a pink layout at night...that's just me trying to figure out which pyche i want to come out. sorry!

institutionaliz @ 2005-11-11T18:48:00

2005-11-12T02:48:14Z

OH SHIT!

i rubbed my eye and it's like SWOLLEN now...it hurts!

FRIGGIN HELL!!!!

2005-11-11T04:39:51Z

okay so i've been working from like 10a to 5p...well...all that standing has made my legs like jello after work.
so i get home today and sit down for like 5 min...seriously...that's not long...
then i get up to feed the baby and

BAM!!!

it hits me...
it's like suddenly someone sucker punched me in my leg...
right in the back of my thigh...
UGH!!!!
it hurts so much!
but work is okay...i guess...
it just gets boring.
before i used to go to work with richi so there was always someone there who got or who i could annoy...but now?
maaaaaaannnnn...i wish richi could work with me...but yeah...that's a negitive.
i'm just sooooo tired. i don't know what's wrong with me.
i'm going to bed ya'll...
good night.
sleep tight.
stay safe.

To: my Richi

2005-11-05T03:30:14Z

No Doubt: Running
Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
I'm so sorry that I'm falling
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love

Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
(Do you think we'll make it?)
We're running
Keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated

Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up

Rooney: I'm Shaking
I've forgotten what it feels like to feel normal
To be normal
I've forgotten what food tastes like
The way it tastes right
The taste buds taste right
I wake up in so much spit and sweat, it is not normal
What is normal?

I go to bed
When I wake up
After cleaning all
All the spit and sweat

I'm sha sha shakin, sha shakin'
I'm sha sha shakin, I'm shakin' now

I tossed and turned all night
'cause I was looking for an ending
This was so because I watched all day
The neverending story with atreyu

The next day came but not a beam of light
Because the blinds were shut
Sha sha sha shut so tight

I fell out of bed laced with spit and sweat
It made me very cold
It made me
Sha sha shakin', sha shakin'
I'm sah sha shakin', I'm shakin' now

I'm supposed to feel better
this nightmare is supposed to end
I am holding on, I am holding on,
I am holding on, I am holding on,
I'm sha sha shakin', sha shakin'
I'm sha sha shakin', I'm shakin' now

Blondie: Songs of Love
All of our days we cry out for love
And we cry for the times that we lost in all
When we had it all, all our hopes and our dreams
All of our days we cry out for love,
And we try to create it again, again
To deny the laws and to leave it behind

Sing sweet songs of love to me now
So the night will become one of love
Sing sweet songs of love to me now
For I need to know you're mine

All of our days we long for a chance
To be lost in a trance of a love we share
A romantic love like no other before

All of our days we live on the run
But we try to believe that it's just begun
That we'll have the time to enjoy every day

I love you, you know that I do
And forever I'll sing just for you
Let me know you love me tonight
Let me hold you in my arms

Rise Against: Swing Life Away
Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Richard
Hey babe.
i just wanted to let you know that i was thinking about you so much today.
i kept hearing songs that reminded me of you.
i couldn't help it. i can't wait until you get home.
it's been like this since i've met you.
if i didn't love you, i wouldn't almost have NOT graduated because i was always at your house (but shhhh....don't tell my mom).
i can't wait until we get married.
i love you so much and i want the friggin' WORLD to know!
everyday i wait patiently until you get home.
and even if your not in a good mood i try to make you laugh and i try to make you feel better. i just want you to be always happy.
no matter what kind of a day you have, when you come through that door, i want you to feel so much love that all that happened during the day disappears.
i always have so much fun with you.
you are my best friend.
and i love you for that fact alone.
no one can replace you. no one can take me away from you.
you have to know that i'm in it for the long haul.
i love you too much to give you away too the world.
i'm selfish.
i wish you didn't have to go to work because i want you at home.
i wish i didn't have to go to work because i want to be at home with you.
it's just you and i forever.
now, i don't want that to scare you, but that's how it's going to be.
i love you richi.
i'll always love you.
Love, Jacqui

institutionaliz @ 2005-11-03T20:02:00

2005-11-04T04:19:49Z

Me, Christian, and Luisa all dressed up for HALLOWEEN. i'm supposed to be a goth-esk baby doll, christian is "an 18th century homosexual"...as he said it. and Luisa was a dead goth prom chick.

Richi's was the coolest of all. we was a thrashed biker. his was the bestest because he did his own make-up. it was funny because i was bugging him for the last hour before he left to put some make-up on or something and he just got annoyed with me. and finally 5 minutes before we left he decided to put some scabs and wounds on. but hey! he looked awsome! we went to the anehiem pond to see a wrestling event. it was sooooooo much fun. i haven't had that much fun in ages!!! here's some pics...they're REALLY blurry because we got nosebleed seats...but still. it was great!

this is Triple H...one of my favorites but then again not...he got fat.

HHH again...spitting...he does that a lot.

Gregory Helms...formerly THe Hurricane...he has a buff for super heroes...

BUT YEAH!!! lots of fun...later!

institutionaliz @ 2005-10-29T09:49:00

2005-10-29T17:38:53Z

being bored...taking quizzes...
politics

You are a
Social Moderate
(43% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(31% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Democrat

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Geek test

Joe Normal
26 % Nerd, 34% Geek, 13% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored less than half in all three, earning you the title of: Joe Normal.

This is not to say that you don't have some Nerd, Geek or Dork inside of you--we all do, and you can see the percentages you have right above. This is just to say that none of those qualities stand out so much as to define you. Sure, you enjoy an episode of Star Trek now and again, and yeah, you kinda enjoyed a few classes back in the day. And, once in a while, you stumble while walking down the street even though there was nothing there to cause you to trip. But, for the most part, you look and act fairly typically, and aren't much of an outcast.

I'd say there's a fair chance someone asked you to take this test. In any event, fairly normal.

Congratulations!

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback!

Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 15% on nerdiness

You scored higher than 51% on geekosity

You scored higher than 7% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

wrestling

The Unknown Jobber
You scored 25% in wrestlingosity, brother!

Your name never even gets announced by Howard Finkel.

Of course, it's not likely that you know who Howard Finkel is, or what a jobber is, so, while this is all fairly insulting in terms of wrestling, you probably don't have enough wrestling knowledge to be insulted by it. You likely don't watch wrestling all that much, or if you do you don't really pay attention (read as: Pizza Time!). Honestly, given the quality lately, that's a pretty good thing.

Congratulations!

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:

Nerds, Geeks & Dorks

Love & Sexuality

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE *ULTIMATE* PRO-WRESTLING TRIVIA TEST

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 10% on wrestlingosity

Link: The ULTIMATE Pro-Wrestling Trivia Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

that's not a good thing

BYE

PAY CHECK!!!!!!

2005-10-29T02:33:56Z

okay....
so today i got my very first paycheck...
a whole $90.86...
well, technically...
it was $99...
but they took $8 out for taxes.
HEY!!! i only worked 3 days...so that's pretty good.
minimum wage works for me!

ugh...bored.

2005-10-27T15:58:16Z

so i'm just at home waiting for my dad to come and pick me up for work...
what happened to my car you ask?
it took a dump.
something in my car is draining my battery so i have to get a new one.
but i have to wait until tomorrow because i get paid tomorrow.
ugh...cars are irratating.
i love my car, don't get me wrong...
but i love it a lot more when it WORKS! so yeah...
here's some pix taken this morning of me and the babe before heading off too work...

she's an angel...really!

it looks like i saw a ghost...

oooohhhh...sultry.

SEE!! she's darling.

you never actually get to see the real you until you look at a photo...and the real me is breaking out real bad.

some cool pix

2005-10-26T02:18:40Z

rad pix taken this past weekend over in riverside next to the mission inn. yeah we went exploring and had a little fun to blow off steam from work and stuff. FUN FUN FUN!!!

AIN'T THAT A KICK IN THE ASS

MY SUPER MAN

YEAH G! ME AND CHRISTIAN ACTIN' GANGSTA GANGSTA

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A PICTURE OF ME BUT...YEAH...IT GOT INVADED

MY FAVORITE PIC IN THE WHOLE WORLD

BEING BORED IS SO MUCH FLIPPIN FUN

I'M NOT FROM AROUND HERE

blah blah effin blah

2005-10-22T03:32:05Z

okay...so i'm trying not to curse becaue i know that when the baby is able to speak she's gonna be like "mommy said that daddy was a bitch..."
and yeah...i don't want that.
so i have to evaluate my speech a little.
i'm so excited to go to the wrestling match on HALLOWEENIE!!!
YAYAYAYAYAY!
anywayssssss...ugh...
i feel crappy because it's (well) just that time of the month...
sooooooooooooooo...
i gotta go...my show is on.
blah...
BYE!

OH!!! EFF IT!

2005-10-20T04:16:43Z

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VERY INTERESTING AND TRUE!

2005-10-20T04:08:35Z

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a

wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist

and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can

be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a

porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey

lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the

biran fguiers it out aynawy.

isn't that super interesting?

ugh... dslfkjhiuaewrbfcknsa

2005-10-20T00:03:32Z

i feel a little crappy. i think it's just because i'm starting to work again. but yeah...i FINALLY grew the balls to ask my big boss man to let me off for halloween and fortunatly he wasn't too mad at me for asking for a day off so soon after i got hired. i don't suggest you try this with your boss. it might not work that well. it's just because it a family owned store...sooooooooooooo...i got lucky! i got oct 31st off. thank you lordy!

just some recent pix

2005-10-18T04:14:24Z

MFZB

who's that in the mirror?

ummmmmm...no.

purty BILLANBONG gurly!

my new car

me in my new car

me in my new car stopped in the middle of the street because my car's engine doesn't heat up fast enough...sooooo...it just stops.

but yeah...that's all the posts for tonight...i promise!

institutionaliz @ 2005-10-17T20:55:00

2005-10-18T04:01:06Z

me and richi at the movies tonight...
went to see fog.
deffinitly your basic ghost story.
no extra special twists or turns in the story line.
hint: if you guess that the main characters had ancestors that did a whole bunch of lepers wrong...
you'd be right.
meh...
it was alright though.

BEST SONG EVER!!!!!

2005-10-18T03:47:48Z

Boyz In The Hood - Dynamite Hack
Woke up quick at about noon
Just thought that I had to be in Compton soon
I gotta get drunk before the day begins
Before my mother starts bitchin' about my friends
About to go and damn near went blind
Young niggaz on the pad throwin' up gang signs
I went in the house to get the clip
With my Mac10 on the side of my hip
I bailed outside and pointed my weapon
Just as I thought, the fools kept steppin
I jumped in the fo' hit the juice on my ride
I got front and back side to side
Then I let the alpine play
I was pumpin' new shit by NWA
It was "Gangster Gangster" at the top of the list
Then I played my own shit, it went somethin' like this:

Cruisin' down the street in my 6-fo'
Jockin' the bitches, slappin' the hoe's
I went to the park to get the scoop
Knuckle-heads out there cold shootin' some hoop
A car pulls up, who can it be?
The fresh El Camino rollin Kilo G
He rolls down the window and he starts to say
It's all about makin' that G.T.A.

Cuz the boyz in the hood are alwayz hard
You come talkin' that trash and we'll pull your card
Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit
Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't said shit ...

Bored as hell and I wanna get ill
So I go to a place where my homeboyz chill
The fellas out there try to make that dollar
I pulled up in the 64' impala,
greeted with a 40 and I start drinkin'
And from the 8-ball my breath start stinkin'
I gotta get my girl to rock that body
Before I left I hit the bacardi
Pulled to the house get her out of the pad
And the bitch said something to make me mad
She said somethin' that I couldn't believe
So I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weave
She started talkin' shit, would'nt you know?
I reached back like a pimp and slapped the hoe'
And her father stood up and he started to shout
So I threw a right-cross and knocked his old ass out

Cuz the boyz in the hood are alwayz hard
You come talkin' that trash and we'll pull your card
Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit'
Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't said shit ...

Punk ass trippin in the dead of night
homies score and key is gonna fly, punk ass fly